How much of your life is discovered? How much of your self is created?
I have little clue as to what the precise ratio is. Then again, I am young, so I’ll cut myself some slack for not having it all figured out just yet. These questions, especially when compared side-by-side are existentially powerful. They pose so many more questions and force us to think deeper than is regular.
This is something that I’ve been struggling with for about 1.5 years at this point. At the beginning, I believed that most of the aspects of myself were to be discovered. I thought that by putting myself into different situations, thinking from alternative perspectives, and learning more of my own behaviors and patterns through introspection that I was discovering every part of myself. Then, I acted against my previous patterns simply because I wanted to. Through this I realized that I can also change my current self by forcibly responding or acting in a different fashion, and that I may even enjoy my self more.
The ideas of discovery and creation in this situation form different hypotheses around understanding ourselves and propose different sets of actions. Discovery proposes the action of exploration, new experiences, trying different things, and moving into the unknown for the sake of reflecting upon the time spent outside of our comfort zone.
On the other hand, creation proposes the action of observing our desires and taking action upon them despite any previous dispositions. This means that we choose to make a conscious decision based entirely on our desire of how we want to be and create our sense of self into whatever we want. We do this by acting and creating new patterns or behaviors that evolve ourselves into what we want.
The difference between these, and what continues to boggle my mind, is that one suggests that we “go with the flow” and attempt to make sense of our current situation in defining our sense of self, while the other suggests we take immediate action and mold our self into what we truly desire.
Like I said from the start, I have no idea what ratio between either discovery and creation is true of our self and our life. I’m still thinking all too often about this very concept. And although I have not come to a conclusion, I do believe that there must be both. Sometimes we try something new only to find out that we hate it. Sometimes we start something we’ve always dreamed of to find that we had to power to do it and enjoy it all along.
Perhaps this idea simply poses a different connotation or voice about our lives? Perhaps both are equivalent in allowing us an understanding of our self with a different perspective on that very understanding? Nonetheless, we need to take advantage of both sides of this idea. We need to try new things, reflect upon our experiences, chase our dreams, and find what fuels our fires. Take whichever perspective is necessary while on your road to self-actualization, but always know that we need to constantly pursue this goal and fulfill our very lives.